Better Know a D Bag: The F-ing D Bag

Note: Better Know a D Bag gives you an inside look of the world of D Bags. Stories focus on how to identify them and tips to overcome their D Bag ways.

You know this D Bag well. Every other word is a curse word. It’s like their vocabulary is limited to only 77 words and phrases, and most of them start with the letters A, D, F and S.

He’s probably wearing glasses and sporting a sports jersey that is at least 10 sizes too big.

But why? Why? Why must you curse so much??? Does it make you feel like a better man? Does it compensate for lost masculinity elsewhere? Does it make daddy happy?

And it doesn’t matter the context, time or place. Those words keep on flying. In a restaurant: F-ing A S, man. At the day care center: get my F-ing child now, A-hole. In church: why the F won’t you answer my prayers, S-head?

I’m not one that minds cursing. In fact, I don’t understand why people make a big deal about language in general. God bless the Brits…they can curse all they want on the BBC. And show some skin too.

But I just don’t get why this guy has to curse so much. It makes no G-D, sense.

You can ask them to tone it down, but genuine D Bags reply with the “I don’t give an F” as a 7-year-old girl cries in the corner because she thinks she just got called a B. Like most D Bags, there’s no reasoning with them. Instead, get a manager or some sort of authority figure to deal with the situation. It avoids direct contact with the D Bag and often provides entertainment in the process. It’s best when you find some one taller and beefier than this D Bag, which shouldn’t be that hard.

Remember, avoid direct contact with D Bags at all cost. The CDC still has not found a cure and exposure could be contagious.

And that’s this edition of Better Know a D Bag.