Better Know a D-Bag: The Douchiest Phone Message In History

You must listen to this.

Seriously, wtf, dude???

It's just so sad that there are people like this in the world today.

Box Office Prediction

On Monday morning, The Dark Knight will officially have had the biggest box office weekend of all time. With all the buzz and circumstances, everybody who's somebody will buy a ticket this weekend. I mean, they were running shows all through the night. 12:01 am. 3:00 am. 6:00 am. And in not just the biggest cities, but cities all over the country.

The boys will want to go see Batman kick butt and girls will want to see Batman's cute butt. Mamma Mia! will get squashed like a bug, and let's not even mention Space Chimps. By the way, if I'm a studio executive and I see that my film Mamma Mia! is up against The Dark Knight opening weekend, I would do everything possible to make a change. Granted, it's not the easiest thing in the world, but you've known for quite some time when Batman would be returning to the big screen. That person should be fired on Monday.

For the record, the biggest opening of all time is Spider-Man 3, with $151 million it's first three days last year. My prediction for The Dark Knight: $166.6 million.

Mamma Mia! will be lucky to get $15 million and Space Chimps, which I think could fare better because of its kiddy appeal, will be close behind with $14 million.

She's a Door Bell

My "niece," Channing Nicole.

She's adorable.

And she's spoiled.

And a good a dancer.

Download This Now!

As I opened the iTunes store today to get the free download of the week, another free download there was also waiting. And I couldn't have been more excited.

The Alchemist!

If you haven't had the chance to read it, do download the audiobook (but also buy the book too!). It's a quick read, but a great one at that. Everyone I've recommended it to have ended up loving it. That's a testament to how great a book it is. And now it's a free download too. And these audiobooks don't come cheap either. They are usually around $20. I have debated downloading it recently but didn't want to pay that kind of price. Patience paid off!

Get it fast. It's only available until July 14.

Here are some quick facts about the book:

* Originally published in 1988, The Alchemist has been translated into 56 languages, and has sold more than 65 million copies in more than 150 countries, and is one of the best selling books in history.

* It is a symbolic story that urges its readers to follow their dreams.

* Some have also compared and contrasted this story and the journey of Santiago to the Biblical account of the Prodigal Son.

The More Things "Change"...

Just when you think some may be different, I learn that all politicians really are the same.

As reported in Newsweek recently, a law student wearing a headscarf was barred from sitting in camera view during a Barack Obama speech in Detroit. The student, Hebba Aref, was forcibly moved out of the area.

Oh, no! People might think she's muslim. And what happens if a muslim is seen near Obama. That could be bad for the polls. What if our numbers go down? Oh, no! Move the girl now. Screw what we stand for and everything we've said. They're just words anyway. We gotta worry about our image.

The girl later said, "I felt like I was discriminated against by the very person who was supposed to be bringing this change."

If a candidate really wants to bring about change, he or she would break off all affiliations with the Republican or Democratic parties and campaign as an independent. True change will only come once the two-party stranglehold on the country comes to an end.

Vote Nader. Vote Barr. Just don't go for the dumb Dems or the ragin' Repubs.

A Few of Other Ideas

So the Orange Stinger attraction at Disney's California Adventure is going to be re-done in a classic style as a part of the park's billion-dollar makeover. The orange peel will be removed and the attraction will be re-themed themed to the Silly Symphony "The Band Concert," complete with a conductor Mickey on top.

This will certainly add knew interest to the attraction, which has a basic rotating swings concept. You basically go around and around and around. Then you stop.

As long as we're updating that attraction, here are a few more ideas for the area. It could be come a classic Mickey area.

The Golden Zephyr can add wings to each of the ride cars. Then it can become a homage to "Plane Crazy," the first Mickey Mouse short to be drawn by Ub Iwerks. It shouldn't be much to add wings. Plus, all it does is go around and around and around too. You could pump in the classic music from the original cartoon.

Even the Jumpin' Jellyfish ride next to it could be re-themed with parachutes, as if there was sky diving going on from the planes. Maybe Minnie is jumping out of the plane. That didn't happen in the cartoon. But there also wasn't a giant spinning swing set in "The Band Concert," so deal!

Finally, there's Mulholland Madness nearby, which is a crazy Mouse ride that is supposed to simulate driving around LA that for some reason has a Fast Pass line, while other more deserving attractions do not. How about we give this Mouse ride a mouse?

The cars could be re-done to look like versions of the boat in the first Mickey cartoon release, "Steamboat Willie." Then you could add elements throughout the ride, which it is severally lacking in right now. Plus, the original soundtrack can be played throughout the ride, giving homage to the first cartoon ever released with synchronized sound.

There's been talk of a Goofy's Flite School attraction being put in the area, like a mini-coaster themed around a barn. I think these ideas would fit in just fine with the theme of the new area.

Some Things I Often Wonder

What song were fireworks synched too before Lee Greenwood came along?

Stop It!

Guess what? I don't care who you are voting for! I don't care who you support! I don't need to see beautiful lawns cluttered up with stupid campaign yard signs. I also don't need to see it on your car. Or in your e-mail.

Seriously, why do people do this? These people must think someone's going to be driving through the neighborhood, see an "Obama in '08" sign in Linda's front yard and think, "Hmm, Linda's voting for Obama. I think I will too. Because Linda is the authority in all things political. She sure knows what she's talking about. In fact, she probably could be on CNN. Obama it is!"

Come to think of it, I hate Linda. And the fact that she likes Obama makes me not like him. So because of the yard sign, I'm going to vote for someone other than Obama. Take that, Linda!

We've come to an age when slogans and marketing campaigns have overtaken political campaigns. It shouldn't be who is voting for whom and why. It should be what these candidates are standing for and why.

Shouldn't the neighborhood association do something about this? Granted, they don't do much good, besides take the residents money. But they regulate many things regarding lawns. Tell them to take them out!

"Oh, but you're infringing on my freedom of speech."

Can it, d-bag. You want to live in this neighborhood, you play by our rules, Linda.