Can someone tell me what’s happening with Paris Hilton? I haven’t heard. You think at least one of the news stations would cover. But I’ve heard nothing. Not a peep. And I must know. I must! It’s clearly the most important thing going on in the world today. It’s so upsetting. Poor Paris.
To put things in perspective, for every minute of Paris coverage, this is what’s happening in the world:
1 abandoned cat is put to sleep
2 people die from lung cancer
11 new people are infected with HIV
17.36 people die in Darfur
24.7 people die from hunger
47 people fall below the poverty line
The national debt rises by $122,820
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